12/4/25

Today I have therapy again. I'm not really sure what to talk about, usually I pull something from my ass, but this time I have something to go off of I guess. This customer yelled at me yesterday at work for a mistake my manager was mostly responsible for (a la giving a cusomter what they want despite policy so I look like the stupid one). So I had 2 customers mad at me and ganging up against me.

Anyway, I'm feeling better now and kind of less scared(?). I know I shouldn't let it get to me but my anxiety gets the better of me. But I live in a small town so there's a high chance I'll see her or people she's told about me again soon, which sucks.

Sometimes I give myself tarot readings as if a way to help explain my feelings or give me something to look forward to in life. I don't have many friends, and I don't go out much, so I don't have much to entertain myself with. So I try to immerse myself in hobbies like writing, reading, drawing, coding, etc.

Back to tarot, I gave myself a reading this afternoon, maybe as a way to prepare what's to come for the near future. For the star of the show, I got the universe (reversed). And for the clarifier I got 2 of torches (upright).

There is a huge hole in myself that needs filling and one way that I can would be to step out of my comfort zone and just make a decision already. I think this applies to me in that I keep waiting and waiting for change but don't know how to implement it. Whether it be towards friendships or even another personal achievement that I won't get into.

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